About Children's Specialized ABA

By Children’s Specialized ABA

Summer is the season of community. It is a time for neighborhood parades, sunny mornings at farmers’ markets, and big family reunions. But for families in the ABA community, these “fun” outings can sometimes feel like a high-stakes test. Just getting out of the car can bring on a heavy wave of anxiety.

Today, we are sitting down with Genesis and Leidy, two amazing moms from our New Jersey Family Faculty team. At Children’s Specialized ABA, our Family Faculty is made up of parents who have walked this exact path. Genesis and Leidy are here to share their honest stories and personal experiences as parents. They want to help you move from just “surviving” public outings to truly finding a sense of belonging.

(Please note: The insights shared below are personal parent perspectives from our Family Faculty team. They are meant for encouragement and peer support, not as clinical advice or behavioral direction for your child.)

The Reality of Sensory Overload in Public

Many parents know that heavy feeling before you even unbuckle the seatbelts in a parking lot. For a long time, Genesis felt that same pressure. She shares that almost every community outing felt like a test. She constantly worried about people staring because her child behaved differently. She worried about the comments people would make and if the environment would fit his needs. Instead of looking forward to making memories, she spent her time worrying about what could go wrong.

Leidy knows that “almost turned the car around” feeling completely. But for her, the pressure did not come from the people around them. She made peace with other people’s reactions a long time ago. Instead, what stopped her cold was the environment itself. A chaotic entrance, loud noise bouncing off the walls, and no clear place to pause can feel like a tough obstacle course. This is extra true when you have multiple kids who each process the world differently. This pre-travel stress is not about the fun being ruined. It is about the real, heavy weight of trying to hold everything together all at once.

When families feel accepted and supported by the places they visit, they can stop focusing on just surviving. They can start enjoying the day like everyone else.

Protect Your Peace of Mind

Handling public spaces means shifting your focus away from the crowd and back to your family. Genesis has learned to remind herself that her child’s well-being matters more than a stranger’s opinion. The stares used to bother her a lot. They made her feel embarrassed or judged. Over time, she realized that most people do not know their story. She does not need their approval to support her child. Now, when she notices “the stare,” she simply looks back at her child. If they are calm and connected, that is what truly matters.

Leidy finds her peace of mind in one simple truth: her child is being supported, and that is the whole job. If that means counting every single penny at the checkout register while a long line forms behind them, they count every penny. If it means a meltdown in the middle of a crowded park, they get through it together. She refuses to let other people’s looks bother her. She has never met a stranger who walked a mile in her shoes. The only people who matter in that moment are the ones in her family. Everyone else is just background noise. Leaving early, taking a break, or changing plans is never a failure. For Leidy, it is just about choosing your family over public expectations.

Prepare for Sensory Overload

At Children’s Specialized ABA, we view careful preparation as a parent’s ultimate superpower. Genesis uses a few key steps to set her family up for success. Before they go anywhere new, she shows her child pictures or videos of the event so they know what to expect. She also uses simple first-and-then language. She will say, “First, we will walk through the market, then we will get a snack.” This makes the day feel predictable.

Leidy gives her kids plenty of advance notice before a big event. She never announces a major outing on the morning of the trip. Instead, her kids get an initial heads-up days in advance, a gentle reminder the day before, and another quick update on the way there. This gives them plenty of time to sit with the idea, ask questions, and mentally prepare. The payoff is incredible. Sometimes her child looks around a crowded market and calmly says, “You were right, it is loud,” instead of shutting down. Leidy also sticks to a strict plan with specific stops. For her family, structure is not a limitation. It is what makes the fun possible.

Find a Calming Space to Help Reset Big Feelings

Finding a quiet zone is a vital survival skill when navigating loud summer events. One of the first things Genesis does when they arrive somewhere new is look for an escape plan. She scans the area for a quiet corner, a shaded patch of grass, an empty hallway, or even a bathroom away from the crowd. Sometimes their reset station is as simple as sitting in the car for a few minutes to regroup. Knowing they have a safe place to go lowers everyone’s anxiety because they do not feel trapped.

For Leidy, a reset station is not a specific place. It is a shared moment. She looks for the most secluded spot available, away from the heavy crowd, just to give everyone space to breathe. In her family, resetting does not mean separating. They stay close together, but everyone does what recharges them. She might open a book while the kids settle into whatever brings them back to themselves. Nobody has to perform for anyone. Leidy reminds parents that building a reset into the plan is not a weakness. Parents get overwhelmed by loud environments, too! Taking a moment to recharge is the whole reason the rest of the day works.

Create Space for Your Child

True inclusion means making sure your child is actively participating in the day. You do not want them just standing on the sidelines. Genesis has learned over the years that participation does not have to look like what everyone else is doing. It is about finding a meaningful role. This can be helping carry a bag at the market, choosing which booth to visit next, or handing out napkins at a family party. When a child has a purpose and some control, they become much more engaged and confident.

Leidy views participation as total equality in her house. Every child has a job, and nobody gets a pass because their needs look different. Having the same responsibilities does wonders for a child’s sense of belonging. She also focuses on asking instead of telling. We spend so much time directing children that we forget they have opinions. Asking simple questions like, “What do you want to eat next?” makes a massive difference. Finally, she makes it a point to meet them in their world. She may not know how to build a house in Minecraft, but she tries anyway. Being seen means someone cares enough to show up in your world, even when they have no idea what they are doing there.

What a Successful Outing Looks Like

Because of these experiences, both mothers have completely changed how they define a successful outing. Genesis no longer measures success by how long they stay. She does not care if their experience matches everyone else’s. Success is simply when her child feels safe, included, and proud of what they did. Sometimes a win is staying for the whole event. Other times, a win is making it fifteen minutes, having one positive moment, and leaving before anyone gets overwhelmed.

Leidy defines success by a simple question: did we do what we said we were going to do? If they said they were going to the supermarket, and they went, that is a win. It does not matter if she wanted to leave the cart and walk out. It does not matter if the kids needed extra support or if it took thirty extra minutes. None of that cancels out the win. Plus, every single outing teaches you a lesson. You learn what worked, what did not, and where the hard moments hit. You are not just running errands. You are building a blueprint for the future, one outing at a time.

Real Talk: Navigating the Hard Moments

If you are feeling nervous about stepping out into the community this summer, our Family Faculty wants you to know that you are not alone. Genesis wants to remind you that you do not have to earn your place in the community. Your child belongs here just as much as anyone else. Progress happens one outing at a time, and the goal is never perfection. It is simply participation. Belonging starts when we stop trying to fit a certain mold and start embracing our family’s unique journey.

Leidy urges parents to give themselves a massive amount of grace. Every family you see out in the world is dealing with something, even the ones that look like they have it completely together. You are not behind, and you are not failing. You are learning a whole new language in real time, and that takes time.

There will come a day when your child is melting down in the middle of a store. Instead of shrinking or trying to hide in the cereal aisle, you will get down on their level and go right there with them. Not because you have given up, but because you are fully present. You will be unbothered by who is watching, giving them exactly what they need, which is you. That day is not as far away as it feels.

If you ever feel like the only one struggling at a community event, look around. Nobody is breezing through parenthood without wanting to quietly run out the nearest door. You are in very good company.

A Final Thought

At Children’s Specialized ABA, we believe that true confidence starts with belonging. Public spaces belong to your family just as much as anyone else. Navigating them is a journey you do not have to take alone. By redefining what a successful day looks like and focusing on connection over public expectations, the whole family can step out and enjoy the sunshine together.